Title: Love is not Self Seeking
Switchfoot, Meant to Live
Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we’ve been living with our eyes half-open
Maybe we’re bent and broken
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah
We were meant to live for so much more
Jonathan Mark Foreman, Timothy David Foreman
I try to imagine the new earth God will create someday.
I try to imagine the world as it should be.
Join me on a little journey.
Picture a pleasant walk together on a path.
We pass beautiful trees, bushes, and flowers. Everywhere there seems to be something edible for us to eat if we so desire.
The birds sing melodies and harmonies together.
A calming breeze cools our bodies.
The air is pure and clean.
We continue our walk to the chapel and join hundreds of fellow saints.
A group of them have been practicing a concert for us.
It is made up of only human voices.
We are made to feel so many emotions in the sounds.
Not even the birds can compare to what we now hear. The notes, and the words carry us to perfect awe for the Lord.
Most remarkable though, is when Jesus joins the choir and sings a solo to us of his love for us.
We walk home overwhelmed by the sensation of peace and joy and love.
Maranatha. Come quickly, Lord.
We’re not home yet.
We’re pilgrims, wayfarers, sojourners, in a distant foreign land.
We were made to live for so much more.
If you’re like me, then you to probably chuckle when someone says, “You know what your problem is, you’re proud. You’re selfish.”
Well… Thank you Captain Obvious.
Of all these positive and negative verbs describing love or its lack, arrogance and self-seeking are the foundation. They top the list. They are at the headwaters of every sin.
Our passage says, “It does not insist on its own way”
The NIV reads, “It is not self-seeking.”
The NASB reads, “It does not seek its own.”
The Greeks defined it this way.
Strive for one’s own advantage
To devote serious effort to realize one’s desire or objective, aim (at), try to obtain, wish (for)
BDAG, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, 3rd ed.
In other passages of scripture, the word is used like this:
1 Corinthians 10:23–24 (ESV)
23 “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.
24 Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.
1 Corinthians 10:31–33 (ESV)
31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
32 Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God,
33 just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.
What would be the Corinthian’s self-seeking goal?
What would be their selfless love goal?
1 Corinthians 14:8–9 (ESV)
8 And if the bugle gives an indistinct sound, who will get ready for battle?
9 So with yourselves, if with your tongue you utter speech that is not intelligible, how will anyone know what is said? For you will be speaking into the air.
1 Corinthians 14:10–12 (ESV)
10 There are doubtless many different languages in the world, and none is without meaning,
11 but if I do not know the meaning of the language, I will be a foreigner to the speaker and the speaker a foreigner to me.
12 So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church.
What would be the Corinthian’s self-seeking goal?
What would be their selfless love goal?
Galatians 1:6–7 (ESV)
6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—
7 not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.
Galatians 1:9–10 (ESV)
9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.
10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
What would be Paul’s self-seeking goal?
How is Paul’s selfless love demonstrated?
In each of the examples, we have learned that selfless love will never seek its own desire, but rather the will of the Father.
Selfless love will restrict personal liberty to win souls.
Selfless love will restrict personal liberty to help Christians grow in their faith.
Selfless love will build up the church with spiritual gifts. It will refuse to seek personal glory and praise.
Selfless love will speak truth to win souls. It would never seek man’s approval.
Those are all very helpful.
Are there some more examples?
Controllers
Few things cause as much conflict as trying to control other people. Some attempts to control others are blatantly self-serving, such as maximizing our own profit or influence at another person’s expense (Gen. 29:15–30).[1]
But the more common type of control involves trying to persuade, manipulate, or force people to do things that simply make our lives more comfortable and convenient.[2]
Empathizers
The empathy for another in dire circumstances may also lead to sadness, guilt, or certain other personally distressing emotions, and relief of such distress may be the real motivation behind helping.[3]
Sex seekers
In the final analysis, human beings live out one of only two identities: that I am ultimate and autonomous or that I am created and dependent on God. All human thought, motive, and behavior are expressions of one of these two identities. In matters of sexuality, the question becomes, Will I live out my identity as a creature of God (and for the believer, as a child of God) or will I live as my own god with no higher agenda than my own satisfaction?[4]
Tying this back to boasting and arrogance.
Self-seeking will reveal the nature of our self-promotion. (Love does not boast. Love is not arrogant.)
Am I promoting the grace and purposes of God, or am I merely seeking to promote my own glory and purposes?
We often begin to detect motives in our hearts that are more self-serving than they are concerned with pleasing God. If you can think of any motives in your heart about why you live the Christian life that you don’t think are right, list them now.[5]
[1] Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Third Edition. (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2004), 122.
[2] Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Third Edition. (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2004), 122.
[3] P. C. Hill, “Helping Behavior,” ed. David G. Benner and Peter C. Hill, Baker Encyclopedia of Psychology & Counseling, Baker Reference Library (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 1999), 553.
[4] Paul David Tripp, “The Way of the Wise: Teaching Teenagers about Sex,” ed. David A. Powlison, The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Number 3, Spring 1995 13 (1995): 39.
[5] Steve Gallagher and Steve Gallagher, The Walk of Repentance (Dry Ridge, KY: Pure Life Ministries, 1993), 27.