(Audio/Video and Text Available)
Title: Marriage Roles: Part Two-Wives
Intro:
You guys did an awesome job last week with the handling of what can (if not treated correctly) become a divisive passage within the Church. As we move further into this discussion I want to just revisit a couple things:
Some Reminders:
- We will travel through this slowly and thoroughly. It is important we know how to defend Biblical Marriage, most especially in today’s American Society.
- Ask questions! Chances are excellent you are not the only one thinking it.
- I am not here to defend MY position. I’m here to explain what the Scriptures clearly say about how men and women are glorify Christ within the context of marriage.
Let’s dive in!
(read/pray)
22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Precept and Principle
When a child is two, just begging to get the hang of toddling around and basic language skills, parents offer precepts, rules, for the child to obey. If the child disobeys, the parent corrects, but at that age, the parent does not usually get into the Principle, the reason for the rule.
When the child is older, they learn the principle, (either by experience, or by a parent’s explanation) and the precept is bound to more than just obedience.
Two Examples:
Vaeh and the Stove
When Vaeh was 2 and pretty mobile around the house, we warned her about not getting close to the stove and oven when mommy was cooking. She was bound only by obedience to her parents. Then, we showed her how hot the stove could get by letting her get close while under close supervision and she could feel the heat and the warning. (Also, the backfired on me majorly a few years later when Silas was crawling and I turned on the fireplace and she flipped out.)
Mortgage Interest and the Child Tax Credit
Has anyone every thought about this; Anyone know why these are tax breaks? The answer may shock you.
Now in the that first example with Vaeh, once she realizes that the rule exists for her safety, she will then connect the idea that her parents love her and want to protect her. Her devotion to us is now based on love, and not just obedience.
Why am I sharing all that with you? Because here, in this passage, Paul doesn’t just offer the Precept (The Rule: wives submit to your husbands), he expands that to include the Principle (This is the way to the best marriage).
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Let’s hear from some great scholars on this topic…
Matthew Henry:
The husband is therefore the head, even as Christ is the head of the church. There is a resemblance of Christ’s authority over the church in that superiority and headship which God has appointed to the husband. (Precept)
The apostle adds, and he is the Saviour of the body. Christ’s authority is exercised over the church for the saving of her from evil, and the supplying of her with every thing good for her.
In like manner should the husband be employed for the protection and comfort of his spouse; and therefore she should the more cheerfully submit herself unto him.
So it follows, Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (v. 24), with cheerfulness, with fidelity, with humility, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing-in every thing to which their authority justly extends itself, in every thing lawful and consistent with duty to God. (Principle)
A Final Thought on a Parallel Passage:
1 Peter 1:1-6
In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your pure [a]and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; 4 but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; and you have proved to be her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Angie Chui
Christianity Today
The subject of submission in the Bible, especially in terms of the relationship of a husband and a wife, needs some clarification, according to John Piper.
In his post on the Desiring God website, Baptist pastor John Piper explored the Scripture: 1 Peter 3:1–6 which deals with the roles of wives and mothers.
Piper cautioned those who read the Bible to ask questions and analyze what the verses are and are not saying to make sure that it is being interpreted in the right way.
“What is submission? The divine calling of a wife to joyfully and fearlessly honor and affirm her husband’s leadership, and to help carry it through according to her gifts,” he said.
He also clarified that it is definitely not agreeing with the husband on all important matters, that marriage for a woman does not mean leaving the brain at the altar or avoiding the effort to make changes for the husband.
He also reminded women not to put their husband’s will above God and urged them not to rely entirely on the husband for spiritual strength.
In addition to this, he stressed that submission should not mean that one party acts in fear of the other, and he cautioned wives against making an idol out of their husbands.
The long time pastor said that the purpose of the Bible verse is not to show that one party is stronger than the other, but rather to “magnify God’s superior worth by hoping in him, through Jesus Christ, as more precious and more resourceful than her husband, and by showing that this hope results in a life that is more husband-honoring, and husband-winning than if he were the idol he would like to be.”
Close:
It is on that last thought I want to close, because, in a few weeks we are going to shift the focus from wife to husband and, man, I’m telling you, the weight of the role of men is heavy.
Biblical Marriage for women is not the wife idolizing and never questioning the husband, as Piper stats, “the wife does not leave her brain at the altar.” Mary has saved me countless times from my worst instincts by challenging me, reeling me in from my anger, or my anxiety, or my fears, and holding me accountable. And all of you have benefited from my wife’s ministry because at one point, I wanted to kill all of you, especially you, Andy. And she spoke wisdom to me. That would not have happened if I was her idol.
Close/Pray
Plan for next few weeks.